


Seasons

by avdubs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Death, F/M, Sexual Content, ministry workers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 15:03:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5168267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avdubs/pseuds/avdubs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A four part one shot. Feelings change, just like seasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fall

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably my favorite short fic that I've written so far. I hope you enjoy it too!

** Fall **

1999

The first day he had seen her, he did a double-take. She wasn't breath taking, he didn’t fall in love with her at first sight. But she had changed so much, he couldn't help but stare. 

"You cut your hair." he had noted in passing. 

Hermione had stopped abrupt ly , almost crashing into him. She  knew he started working here, but had yet to see him. He looked healthy now; his pale skin seemed to glow. She swore those cheek bones could cut through glass. 

She brought a hand up to her hair, now styled into a pixie cut and grinned sheepishly. 

"I thought it was time for a change." she replied honestly, unsure of where he was going with this. 

He merely nodded and stared off into the sea of people surrounding them. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other until he turned his attention back to her. 

"It looks nice." was all he said before dispersing into the crowd. 

* * *

October came quickly, with harsh winds and brutal colds. He hadn't spoken to her much since last month in the corridor. They offered civil nods in passing, but that had been the extent of their relationship. He managed to keep himself busy with work, regaining his trust with the Ministry and out of trouble. 

Of course there were Death Eaters still in hiding, and at his lower points, it was hard to resist their offers. They had no idea he worked for the Ministry now, and he was planning on keeping it that way. He couldn't really explain why, it was a bad idea of course, but a part of him wasn't ready to let go of that option. For whatever fucked up reason. 

Draco found himself sitting alone, in the dining hall when Hermione approached him. He glanced up from his pudding and tea to see her beaming at him. 

"What're you smiling about, Granger?" he asked with a bored expression. 

"We caught a pair of Death Eaters this morning." she gloated. 

He felt his muscles ice over as his heart began to pound in his ears. He fought to keep his lips in a straight line and his expression uninterested. She couldn't know. He had no idea why he didn't want her to know, it's not as if he cared about her. They weren't even friends. 

"Do you want a trophy or something?" he asked with a roll of his eyes. 

Hermione pursed her lips and folded her arms over her chest. He couldn't help but notice that her eyes were glinting with excitement and a blush had invaded her cheeks. 

"Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is because  Kingsely  wants us to work together. He knows that you used to...be involved with them, and he figured you'd be a huge help in catching the rest of them." she  ranted . 

If he was nervous before, it was nothing to the anxiety that was currently coursing through his veins. He pushed away his food and cleared his throat, drinking in her news. He would love the opportunity to put the rest of them behind bars; to show them he wasn't useless or spineless. But that would mean never receiving an offer from them again. He wouldn't have a back up plan. 

"Tell Kinglsey I'm sorry, I can't. There's just too much work to do in my department, I'm already swamped. He'll have to find someone else." he responded finally, feeling the guilt well up inside him. 

Hermione's face fell in disappointment. The fire in her eyes was now just dying embers, the blush in her cheeks was gone. She sighed heavily before rising. 

"Well, if things ease up, let me know." her tone flat as she stared down at him. 

He nodded, assuring her that he would before he watched her walk away. 

* * *

"I can't believe we have to work late on Halloween." Draco growled as he and Blaise made their way through an empty corridor. 

There weren't many workers here tonight, which enraged him even more. Their footsteps echoed across the tiled halls while paintings snoozed on. 

"Mate you don't celebrate Halloween. You haven't for years." Blaise commented calmly. 

"It doesn't mean I want to work." he bit back, gripping the files in his hand as tight as he could. 

The pair turned the corner when Draco ran into a petite form. The files spilled from his hands, scattering across the empty hall. 

"Shit." she muttered as she regained her balance. 

"Nice one, Granger." Blaise mumbled as he helped Draco pick up the files. 

Hermione scowled at him as she helped them gather the rest of the fallen papers. Draco felt the warmth of her body next to his. He felt his breath hitch, causing him to scowl in confusion. 

"Sorry," she offered. "Probably should watch where I'm going." 

They rose to full height before she handed him the remaining files. He thought he caught sight of tear stains on her cheeks, but didn't mention it. 

"Don't worry about it." he said with a wave of his free hand. "Granger, are you-"

"I'll see you around, yeah?" she interrupted with a tight smile. 

Draco nodded as she disappeared, nearly running into Blaise on her way. Blaise shook his head, a smirk on his lips. He then turned his attention to his blonde companion. 

"What was that mate?" Blaise asked with an amused expression. 

The former Slytherin scowled at his best friend. 

"It was nothing, Blaise. Now shut it." 

* * *

Draco was  particularly  eager to find Granger the next morning, and apparently luck was on his side. Though he and Blaise stayed late the night before, Draco was back in at five in the morning. He found her in the dining hall, nursing a mug of tea and nibbling on toast. She looked tired, with circles under her eyes and her usually tinted skin stripped of its healthy glow. 

"Morning, Granger." he offered as he sat down across from her. 

Hermione glanced up at him with a lethal look etched on her features. Draco frowned at the witch, trying not to look alarmed. 

"Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" he joked. 

But this was apparently the wrong thing to say, because a moment later she burst into tears. 

"Shit Granger, what is the matter with you?" Draco asked, unsure of how to handle this situation. 

Hermione quickly wiped away her falling tears with a sniffle. She cleared her throat and furrowed her brows in concentration. He watched her tongue flick across her lips, catching some of her salty tears. He imagined himself brushing away her remaining tears but quickly brushed away the ridiculous thought. 

"Ron and I split up. And I suppose it's been harder on me than I thought." she confided quietly, only glancing at him briefly. 

She didn't expect him to understand. She had never known him to hold a steady relationship, and she knew he never liked Ron. She expected him to laugh and tell her he would be happy if he had finally gotten rid of him. But she missed Ron, she loved Ron. And it wasn't his fault, but it wasn't her fault either. They sort of just...drifted apart and the once intense feelings they held for each out fizzled out. Regardless, this hurt like hell. 

"Well, if I know anything about you, I know that your stubborn, clever self will move on eventually. Chin up, Granger." it was all he could muster to say before he felt the need to disappear. 

She hadn't even noticed him leave as she struggled to comprehend his words. 

* * *

He wasn't sure what caused him to do it, to let his feet carry him to her office one particularly blustery afternoon. But here he was, standing just outside her office, attempting to muster the courage just to knock on her door. His knuckles were centimeters away from the door when it burst open, to reveal a frazzled looking Hermione. 

"Oh! Draco, erm, what are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly. 

There was that damn blush again; the same blush that had been stuck into his brain for weeks now. The same blush that had kept him awake at night and caused him to think of this preposterous idea. 

She shuffled her papers into a neat stack while Draco cleared his throat, glancing around at anywhere that wasn't her. 

"I was just...I'm heading out for a drink and I was wondering if you wanted to join me." the words fumbled out of his mouth, and this time, it was his cheeks that bore a blush. 

Her eyes widened in shock at his invitation. Did she hear him right? Had Draco just asked her out for a drink? And if she had heard him right, should she? Her and Ron hadn't been broken up for that long, only a week or two. Then again, why was she assuming this was a date? 

She stared at him for a moment, drinking in his milky skin and bright silver eyes. She noticed the slight bouncing in his knee with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Hermione smirked and shook her head. 

"Sure, why not?" 

* * *

Ever since their drink after work, Draco had been spending more time with Hermione. And secretly enjoying every second of it. Her laugh was infectious, imprinting more smiles on his lips in the past week than had ever graced his lips. She was bright, far brighter than he remembered. To his own surprise, he had even talked her through her break up with Ron. They met for breakfast every morning and she had sat with him at lunch three times this week. 

When Hermione stormed into his office, with a look of pure hatred and rage written on her normally kind features, Draco couldn't help but look alarmed. She slapped a file down on his desk, her breath hot on his face. 

"Granger, what the hell-"

"Do you know what this is,  Malfoy ?" she spat, her eyes like daggers. 

His eyes glanced down at the unopened file, daunting him. He had a hunch, and he hoped to Merlin he was wrong. 

"We captured two more Death Eaters last night. And one of them had some interesting things to say about you. We didn't even need Veritaserum. He couldn't wait to spill your dirty secret." her words felt like venom piercing his heart. 

She wasn't supposed to know. He was planning on cutting this off. He was going to tell them he wasn't interested. 

"Granger, I was-" 

"Save it. I can't trust anything that comes out of your mouth anymore." she screeched, her eyes wild with rage. 

All he could do was stammer as she stormed out of his office. 


	2. Winter

** Winter  **

1999/2000

She hadn't spoken to him, much less looked at him since she stormed out of his office. He expected to be fired, to be questioned and possibly placed under arrest. But no one had come for him, aside from a long lecture by  Kingsley . He was however, placed under strict surveillance by fellow department employees, and tailed by an Auror when he wasn't at work. 

He had of course kept himself out of trouble. He knew better than to risk his career. His main problem, however, was Granger. He knew she wasn't one to forgive easily, and he had shattered her trust. He didn't want to hurt her this way. And his desire to keep it a secret, his fear of her finding him dirty, was his downfall. 

But he was tired of the silent treatment. Her glaring looks and mena cing scowls were growing old, boiling up a new found frustration. 

It was going to be Christmas soon, and the last thing he wanted was to have the first person who had been consistently nice to him hating him. 

He was planning on finding her after lunch, but it was mid-morning when he heard a soft knock on his office door. Draco barely had time to get up from his chair when Hermione let herself in. She shut the door with a soft click and made her way over to his desk, chewing on her lip the whole way. 

Draco watched her with wary eyes as she shifted her gaze to the window, displaying the foot of snow they had received, to his cluttered desk, and finally, to him. 

"I've had some time to think." she started, collecting her thoughts. 

Every muscle in his body was frozen, all he could do was stare. And wait. 

"Not telling anyone about them was wrong. And I hope you know that. But perhaps I was a bit harsh. I've thought about it for weeks..." she admitted quietly. "I didn't even realize it had only been a year or so since...everything. Of course this wasn't easy for you." 

Draco had been expecting many things. He thought she might lecture him, or punch him again. He expected her to scream at him and banish him from her life. But here she was...practically apologizing. Merlin she was a better person that he'd ever be. 

"I should have told you." he muttered finally, throwing down his quill. "I was planning on it, but you found out before I could." 

"Well lucky for you, I found a way for you to make it up to me." she said with a satisfying smirk, slapping down a pile of files on his desk. 

* * *

 

Draco was planning on accepting the assignment with Granger anyway, but she beat him to it. And though she thought she was initially too harsh on him, she was cracking down on him now. They stayed late for days  on end. He took home cases, trying to figure out the remaining Death Eaters locations. She sat with crossed arms every morning that he came in without a clue. But it was almost Christmas, and all he wanted was a break. 

She was at his flat, which had nearly given him a heart attack when she suggested it. He watched as she bundled her sweater around her fists, her fuzzy sock covered feet resting on his couch. An untouched mug of hot chocolate sat on his coffee table, with a fire crackling behind them. He could hear the wind howling outside, snow swirling in different directions. 

He sat with his head in his hands, while he listened to the scratching of her quill. 

"Hermione, come on, let's just take a break." he advised warily. 

Her head shot up, shooting him a piercing look. 

"Draco, we need to find them. The others aren't talking...this is up to us." her tone was sharp as she glared at him. 

Draco rose from his arm chair, and sat himself gingerly next to her. Her shoulders were hunched over, and he could see her eyes turning red with much needed slumber. He wanted to pull her to him and let her fall asleep against his chest. 

"Look, it's late, and you're exhausted. No work is getting done. Just...drink your hot chocolate and take a damn break." he pushed, now exasperated at her desire to work herself to death. 

She stayed silent for a moment, staring down at the files and abundance of notes she spent hours compiling. He watched her eyes drift close for a brief moment, before she leaned back against the back of the couch. She laughed as she opened her eyes, staring at him lazily. 

"Alright, fine. A small break." 

Draco smiled at her as she gulped down the hot chocolate. Her gaze shifted to the Christmas tree in the opposite corner of his living area, a small smile on her face. 

"Christmas was always my favorite time of year." she mused softly, curling into a ball. "Mum would make us hot chocolates, and we would watch Christmas movies. Dad always let me stay up late. He'd come into my room after Mum fell asleep and we'd eat some of the cookies we left out for Santa. Of course traditions changed as I got a bit older...and soon I always stayed at Hogwarts for the Holidays." 

"Do you miss them?" his voice barely audible against the roar of the fire. 

She nodded and wiped away a stray tear. "I want to find them some day. I just need to be sure I know what I'll be doing." 

Before he knew what he was doing, his hand found her knee. He offered a reassuring squeeze and a tight smile. 

"You're clever, Granger. You'll figure it out." 

She nodded before asking him if she could be alone. He obliged, but stopped himself in the hallway. 

"You can sleep here tonight, if you want. There's blankets in that closet there, and a pillow as well." 

He disappeared before she could respond. 

When Draco woke in the middle of the night for a glass of water, he noticed her sleeping figure on his couch. He allowed himself to steal a few moments to watch the slow rise and fall of her chest.

* * *

The new year came and went without a bang. The only good thing that had happened so far was the immense amount of time he was spending with Granger, even though they had managed to capture the remaining Death Eaters. 

He didn't know exactly how he felt about her. He cared about her, he knew that much. And he knew that sometimes he stared for just a moment too long...took too much notice to her brown sugar eyes...perhaps tried a bit too hard to make her laugh sometimes. But he couldn’t help it. Around her, he just felt different. 

She had formed the habit of practically interrogating him about his recent relationship with the Death Eaters. He couldn't blame her, really. He should have found it annoying, but he couldn't stop the swell of his heart every time her brows furrowed in concern and she fired question after question. 

It was a Saturday and he found himself at Granger's flat, perched on her couch with a bowl of popcorn and butterbeer. She managed to convince him to watch a movie; which really didn't take much convincing at all. He took any opportunity to spend time with her. 

She plopped herself down next to him and snuggled up next to him. He felt his body stiffen at first, before he realized she wasn't moving and allowed himself to relax. Her head was resting on his shoulder as she reached for a hand full of popcorn. 

He smiled to himself as they sat together quietly, his attention only on her. He had no idea what the movie was about, Granger was far more interesting. Far more beautiful to look at, and far more entertaining than any movie. She was witty and sharp. She was warm and reassuring. She was everything he never had. 

And it only left him wanting more. 

* * *

He thought about telling her about his feelings. He thought about telling her that his days didn't feel right until he saw her smile. He thought about telling her that their breakfasts together were the best part of his day. He wanted to tell her that she was in his thoughts every passing second. But no matter how many times he tried, the words never came out. 

Neither one of them had brought up Ron since their break up, and he was too afraid to ask. The last thing he wanted to hear was how she still had feelings for him. 

There were times when she caught him staring, and would turn away quickly. She watched his lips move as he spoke, secretly imagining what they would feel like against hers. She spent weeks studying his hands and spent most of her free time imagining those fingers stroking her skin. She wasn't sure when she started having these thoughts, all she knew is they were the only thoughts she had that weren't about work. 

It was Valentine's Day today, and Draco had thought about getting her a gift. But a gift today meant she would know how he felt...and he wasn't ready for that. 

But when he walked into his office that morning, he found a package waiting for him on his desk, with the initials H.G signed on it. 


	3. Spring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for graphic sexual content in the first section

**Spring**  

2000

Hermione arched her back against his stomach, a low moan escaping her slightly parted lips. Her breath hitched with every thrust of his hips, while his fingers worked her clit. His teeth sank into her shoulder, her sweat coating his tongue. His tongue trailed up her throat, following the slightly bulging vein before he began nibbling on her ear lobe. 

"For Merlin's sake, Draco..." she groaned, her fists curled into the sheets baring white knuckles. 

He hissed as his hands gripped her hips, trying to push himself as far as he could inside her. He heard her yelp in surprise. Quickly, he removed himself from her, whispering dazed apologies. His neck stretched to kiss her cheek as she caught her breath, her eyes drifting close. 

Draco trailed his fingers against the dip from her hip to her waist, feeling the goosebumps rise at the touch of his tips. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, his lips inches from the skin of her neck. 

Hermione shivered against him, feeling the tickle of his breath against the hairs standing on her neck. She murmured into her pillow as a response. Draco felt a smirk tug at his lips as he rolled her over to her back. He stared down at the beautiful woman laying beside him; her big, chestnut eyes staring back at him. Draco's fingers wandered up her stomach, stopping to outline her breasts. 

"Draco," she said warningly. 

He smiled at her with innocence and pure amusement. She watched as he lowered his lips to her nipple, and cursed herself for letting her eyes fall shut. He grinned against her skin as he felt the familiar arch of her back and that first moan that always led to many more. 

"I hate you, you know that?" she breathed, running her hand through his hair as he licked and flicked at her flesh. 

"No you don't." he replied, his voice barely audible. 

Somehow he had learned everything about her so quickly, and he didn't even know when it truly began. It was impossible to pin point the exact moment he started falling for her. But before he knew it she was the one he thought about first thing in the morning. She was the voice of reason in his head, even when it came to the simplest of choices. It was her that he pictured kissing and touching and holding. When he was having a rough night or woke from a nightmare, it her that he wanted there with him, to soothe him. 

He knew what made her tick. He knew that it drove her crazy when he trailed up her thighs with his tongue. He knew she loved it when he was rough. And he knew that she loved to beg. 

She was breathing heavily now as he worked over each breast; sucking, biting, grasping. He took her familiar cries of pleasure as his cue to move further south, trying to taste every inch of her on his way down. Hermione whimpered as his lips met hers, going directly for her most sensitive spot. 

Her moans and cries only grew loader with every flick of his tongue, her fingers now digging into his scalp. His hands rested on her hips once again, much as she tried to buck against them. She loved that too. He could feel her stomach and thighs beginning to tighten, and that was when he stopped. 

"Draco..." she whined, loosening her grip on his hair. "Draco, please." 

He placed one kiss on her inner right thigh and smiled devilishly against her skin when she let out a groan. It was then that he glanced up at her from between her legs, her chest falling up and down, her curls splayed out on the pillow. 

"Say you don't hate me..." he prompted, ready to gently bite her left thigh. 

"Never." she said in her best determined tone. 

"Then I'll stop." he said with a cool blow to the exposed flesh between her thighs. 

Hermione shivered beneath him and bit her lip as she groaned again. 

"All you have to do is say it, and I'll continue." he murmured into her thigh, gripping skin between his teeth lightly. 

She whimpered as he continued these moves, slow and gently. Almost as if she were made of porcelain. She loved this about him; his ability to know exactly what she needed. Sometimes it was rough, sometimes it was sweet and gentle, and sometimes, like tonight, it was that perfect mixture of both. He always moved with such tenderness and passion, sweeping her off her feet every time. 

"Please, Draco." she whined, finally. 

"Those aren't the magic words..." he muttered, the words trailing along her skin in rhythm with his breath. 

It was that final bite between her thigh and her flesh that did her over. Her ultimate sweet spot. Damn him for finding that. 

"I don't hate you!" she cried desperately, before throwing her head back in relief when his mouth met her yet again. 

* * *

Draco held her tight as she cried into her chest. She had received news that her father died of a heart attack, something he didn't understand at first, and was still having trouble comprehending. 

It had been a week since his funeral and she hadn't cried since she received the news. He hated when she buried her emotions. Mainly because she still brooded around his flat and found any reason to snap at him. He had had enough and started a fight, knowing it would lead to this. 

They laid in their bed while he stroked her mangled curls. He inhaled the scent of her tears and heart ache and vanilla perfume. 

"Let it out." he whispered in the semi-darkness. 

Hermione's body shook against his, the roaring fire their only source of light. He could hear the rain pounding against his window, another spring storm passing through. 

She felt her lungs burn with every choked sob, while her cheeks surely glowed red. Her stomach felt like it had dropped into her butt, and her heart raged with pain as though it had been split in two. Draco's arms wrapped  tighter around her quivering form  as her sobs grew louder, drowning out the rumbles of thunder. 

"I miss him so much, Draco." she whimpered after another half-hour of crying. 

His hands rubbed up and down her back, trying his best to quell her last body-shaking sobs. 

"I know you do, Hermione." 

* * *

 

It was a perfect Spring morning. The sun was shining through his emerald green curtains, the smell of freshly cut grass and blooming flowers invaded his bedroom. The warmth of the sun's rays fought the chilly air of the early morning on their exposed skin. 

They sat in bed with a blanket draped around them, tangled in each other's limbs. Hermione's fingers traced over his mark; his barely fading, ugly mark. He hadn't been able to look at it without feeling resentment and shame for months now. He turned his head away as she examined it, her features at ease. 

"It's revolting." he muttered, staring out the open window. 

Hermione pecked kisses along his jawline as she hummed softly. 

"I used to think the same about mine." she said quietly, exposing the scribbled 'mudblood' on her forearm. 

He flinched as it glared at him, reminding him what his Aunt had done. Under their roof. 

"They're not who we are, Draco. They're scars now. And soon the memories will fade." 

Draco glanced down at her; skin glowing in the orange glow of morning sun. The gentle breeze pushed her stray hair away from her face. He smiled at her before planting a kiss on the top of her head. Hermione rested her head on his stomach, and began drawing circles around his belly button. 

"I hope this isn't the break of your I'm-always-right streak." he said sarcastically. 

She smiled up at him and pressed her lips to his cheek briefly. His skin burned at her touch. 

These were the only memories he wanted from now on. 

* * *

He hadn't seen Hermione since they arrived at work this morning. He had however, ran into Dean who mentioned she was in a horrible mood today. Draco sighed at this news. The Ministry had been wearing her thin lately; asking her to stay late, springing assignments on her at last minut e, demanding reports be finished the very next day. She was stressed, and he was the one paying for it. 

At lunch time, Draco wandered down to her office and let himself in. There she sat, hunched over her desk, scribbling frantically and muttering to herself. She nearly jumped out of her seat when he cleared his throat. 

"Damn it, Draco. Do you know how to knock?" she barked, slamming down her quill. 

"No. Put down your work and come with me." he said, ignoring her jab with his casual tone. 

Just as he expected she huffed, folding her arms over her chest. 

"Hermione, you can run right back to your office. But just have lunch with me first." Draco sighed, knowing he had to use as much patience as he could muster. 

She stared at him, her features only briefly hard as stone. But one glance down at the pile of work, and her lip was quivering. She glanced back up at him, her eyes now glossed with tears. Her lips twisted into a tight line as she tried to hold back the tears before nodding and rising from her chair. 

A picnic in the park had been exactly what she needed. Just her, Draco and nature. She had kicked off her shoes and laid down in the grass as soon as they claimed their spot by a willow tree. Draco took the responsibility of unpacking their lunch as she closed her eyes and sighed. 

"You always know what I need." he heard her say mindlessly. 

She was silent for a moment before she spoke again, propping herself up on one elbow. "You always know how to make me feel better. Sometimes I don't even know how to help myself." 

He arched an eyebrow at her, laying out the rest of their food. "And?" 

He heard her sigh again, contemplative but not troubled. "And I suppose I don't understand how that's possible." 

Draco nodded at that thought. He wanted to say he didn't know how they had happened. Written in the stars to be enemies, yet here they were. Defying all odds with every passing day. Something had changed in him after the war, obviously, and he supposed she changed as well. Perhaps that had been the plot hole. The only possible way the two of them would end up together. If he had taken one of those offers from the Death Eaters, or if he had never chosen her side at all, they wouldn't be here. 

With this knowledge, he leaned forward and kissed her fiercely, holding her head in his hands. He let go of her just as quickly as he had grabbed her. She stared at him in bewilderment, her lips slightly parted, pulsing and tinted pink. 

"Never question the good things in your life, Hermione. Hang onto them.  My mother once told me that. Probably the most sentimental memory I have with her, to be honest." he said with a chuckle. 

Hermione wasn't sure why, but his words sent her into a fit of giggles. She covered her mouth and leaned her head back as s he continued to laugh. Draco hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to react, before he caught sight of her smile and burst into laughter himself. 


	4. Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the last chapter.

** Summer  **

2000

"Draco, I'll be fine!" she said hysterically as the packed clothes into her beaded bag. 

"Why are you still risking your life Hermione? Voldemort is dead!" he yelled, slamming his hands against the door. 

Hermione felt her legs shake as she gathered a few books and extra socks, just to be safe. She made sure her essence of dittany and other possible essential potions were tucked away in the undetected depths of her bag. 

"Is Potter dragging you into this? Because if he is, I swear to Salazar I'll-" he ranted, spraying spit with every word. 

"Draco stop!" she screeched, throwing her jacket down on the bed. "Harry isn't making me do anything. I decide what I do, and don't do. And I'm going. End of discussion." 

Draco could scream, but he had all but screamed  himself hoarse during the course of their argument. And now his vocal cords were begging for a break. So instead he stood hopelessly by their bedroom door, watching her pack with shaky fingers and tear stained cheeks. 

" Kingsley  asked me if I was willing to, and I said yes. I've been working on this Death Eater case for months now. I know the most about it and I can hold myself in battle. They need me, Draco." she didn't plead, wasn't trying to make him understand. Her tone was flat, like she had recited this little speech a thousand times. 

He grinded his teeth, clenching his jaw. "I know just as much as you do, maybe more. Why didn't they ask me to fight?" 

Hermione let her underwear slip through her hands and collapse onto a few scattered books. She turned to look at him, her features twisted with anguish and dread. 

So that was it. They didn't want him fighting with them because they still didn't trust him. 

He would be left here to wonder and to hope that she would come back to him. 

Finally, he resigned and moved towards her. She was rigid as he wrapped her in his arms. Her vanilla perfume swirling into his nostrils like always. He felt her shake against him and he knew she was crying again. 

"Just...be careful."  he begged. 

Hermione lifted her head from the warm spot on his chest to place a chaste kiss along his jaw before whispering, "Careful is my middle name." 

Draco frowned in confusion. "No, it's not. It's Jean." 

Hermione laughed softly as she gazed into those silver moon eyes she had grown to know so well. The way they change shades of grey depending on his mood, how eerily yet beautifully translucent they looked in the sunlight and how quickly his irises could resemble threatening storm clouds when he was angered or upset. 

She smiled at him, trying her best to remember this moment. She grazed his cheek with her finger tips, his milky skin cool beneath her gentle touch. 

"I love you. " she whispered. 

The realization of what she just said sunk into her brain and sent a heated blush to her cheeks. 

"Draco, I didn't-if you're not-you don't have to say it back." she mumbled, staring down at the floor in embarrassment. 

He wanted to pull her back to him. He wanted to kiss her more passionately than he had ever done before. He wanted to make love to her until neither could take any more. He wanted to hold her for the rest of his life and keep her safe here with him. He wanted more than anything to say those three words back. 

But he couldn't. He was rendered speechless. Hermione Granger loves him. 

* * *

Draco woke early one June morning to Blaise pounding on his door. He had had trouble falling asleep that night and was not the least bit amused by his visitor. Of course he didn't know it was Blaise until he yanked open the door, yelling about respecting people's sleep. But the look on his face stopped Draco in the middle of his rant. 

" Can I come in?" his best friend asked, visibly troubled. 

Draco stepped aside, his heart pounding in his ears. "Is it Luna, mate?" he asked hoarsely. 

Blaise shook his head as he sat himself down, running his hands over his shaved head. Draco sat down next to his best friend, clad in his bath robe and bare feet. 

"Draco, mate...I'm so sorry." 

Blaise didn't need to say more. He knew what he meant. And just like that, the world stopped turning. 

* * *

 

"Who did it, Blaise? Who was it?" Draco asked, shaking with rage. 

Blaise shook his head as the blonde wizard paced the wooden floors. 

"I told you, I don't know, mate." 

Within a second, Draco's face was inches from Blaise. His pupils were wide with fury, while his knuckles turned white as they gripped the arms of the chair. He wanted to scream at Blaise, and maybe he would. 

"Find out then. Find who fucking killed her so I can make them feel my pain!" he roared, spraying spit all over Blaise's face. 

Blaise shut his eyes and wiped the moisture from his face. 

"That's not going to bring her back..."

"NOTHING. IS GOING TO BRING HER BACK BLAISE. DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?" Draco screamed, his throat on fire. 

"But I want the bastard who killed her to pay." he breathed, a dangerous glint in his eyes. 

"I don't think that's what she would-"

"Don't you fucking dare, Blaise. Don't you try and tell me what she would want. YOU DIDN'T KNOW HER. YOU DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT HER." 

He didn't care that he was screaming at his best friend. If he couldn't have the satisfaction of watching the tortured face of his lover's murderer as he inflicted his pain onto them, then this was the next best thing. 

Before he knew what was happening, he was sobbing. His lungs had shattered into a million pieces. Blaise was holding him up, wrapped in his arms just as he had done to Hermione countless times. He didn't care. He soaked his best friend's shirt and screamed in anguish. His knees wobbled and he thought his ears might start bleeding from the heat that flooded his face. 

He wasn't strong enough for this. He was weak enough to never to stand up to his father, he was weak enough to become a Death Eater. And he was weak enough to keep them in his life. There was no way in hell he was strong enough to get through this.

* * *

Her funeral was everything she hated. A large crowd, too many people crying over a girl they only knew through articles and too many flowers. 

None of her friends  knew of their relationship, so Draco distanced himself from the crowd. He hid behind a large oak tree, the pouring rain drenching his black suit. It was an unusually cold rain, chilling his bones with every passing minute. But he couldn't move, he was rooted to the spot. Mourning her from afar, watching her best friends carry her coffin to the dug out grave, and growling at all the people who didn't know her at all. 

He stood silently, shaking from the cold and his grief. Silent tears slipped down his cheeks, blending perfectly with the fresh water rain. He watched as Potter stepped up to the podium, and that was when he left. 

He didn't want to hear their words of remembrance, of regret and love. 

* * *

Summer was supposed about warm late nights and too many butterbeers. It was supposed to be day trips to the beach and a surprise trip to Paris. He had had the whole thing planned, was going to tell  he  when she came from this mission. But she was never coming back now. They were going to sleep in on Sunday's and sit on his balcony drinking tea. She was going to show him more movies and take him into Muggle London. 

He sat at his small dining room table, an empty glass sitting in front of him. Blaise sat across him, not saying a word. Draco hadn't slept since he found out. Sleep had evaded him for over two weeks now. His limbs felt heavy, and his bones felt like they could crumble any second. Dark circles encompassed his eyes, and a gritty stubble had overtaken his jaw. Blaise had declared himself the responsibility of looking after Draco, and Draco didn't have the strength to argue. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaise asked hesitantly. 

Draco said nothing. 

Blaise sighed. He had asked Draco that same question multiple times over the past two weeks and hadn't gotten an answer. He couldn't blame him, really. He'd probably be the same way if he had lost Luna. Blaise nodded and trudged  over to the couch. He slumped down onto the cushions , and pulled the blanket over his long body. 

"You know where to find me, mate." 

Draco nodded, knowing Blaise couldn't see him. 

* * *

Blaise had to return to work at some point, Draco knew that. But the emptiness in his flat only enlarged the emptiness in his chest. He was alone now, harboring anger and guilt. 

Their last conversation had been an argument. She left to risk her life for the life of others, and they had spent her last night arguing. 

Draco picked up one of his many empty bottles of firewhiskey and threw it against his living room wall. His chest heaved as he watched the glass shatter into glittering, tiny shards. A shower of the pain that had made a home in his heart. 

He let out an ear-splitting scream and hunched over, dry heaving onto his carpet. He had buried his emotions and now he was paying the price. The held in anger pulsed through his veins, while his grief pushed out the alcohol and stomach acid. The taste was bitter on his tongue, making him gag. 

His arm swept across his desk, sending files and books scattering to the floor. His fist pounded into the wall over and over again until his knuckles were raw and bleeding. Draco fumbled for his wand and pointed it at his drapes, watching with heavy breaths as they burst into flames. He picked up his desk chair and chucked it at the fire. 

His apartment had gone blurry in front of him. He was crying now. Hot tears splashed over his lashes, staining his pale, sunken cheeks. What did it matter if he couldn't see? 

A world without Hermione is a world he had no interest in. 

* * *

 

Eventually he returned to work. He didn't dare go near the dining hall and stayed far away from her office. 

He was hunched over his desk, scribbling furiously. He only stopped when he heard a soft tap at his door. He looked up to see a petite form with long, flowing blonde hair enter his office. Draco rolled his eyes and returned to his paperwork. 

"Hello, Draco." he heard her irritatingly dream-like voice say from across the room. 

"What do you want, Lovegood?" he barked. 

"I was going to ask how you are, but that's a silly question. Maybe you would like some company, though." she responded, taking a seat in one of the wooden chairs that sat before his desk. 

He managed to bark out a laugh before slamming his quill down. He stared at her with cold eyes, hoping that if he concentrated hard enough, her head would explode. 

"I don't want any company, especially yours." he growled through gritted teeth. 

"Hmm, yes, we're not really friends, are we? Blaise likes my company." Luna remarked thoughtfully. 

"Yeah? Then go bother him." he snapped, attempting to focus on his work. 

Luna sighed before heading to the door. She froze, with one hand on the knob. The blonde stared at the tortured young man sitting behind his big oak desk. 

"Hermione loved you very much, you know."

Draco's head snapped to attention, but she was no longer there. 

* * *

 

It had been just over a month before he could visit her grave. He had hardly slept one Saturday night, and chose to finally visit her just before the sunrise. 

Draco sat himself in the dewy grass, and stared solemnly at her tombstone. The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon, its rays fighting through the trees. A cool breeze rippled over the graveyard, sparking goosebumps on his skin. He shivered slightly and cursed himself for not bringing a jumper. A mist had settled among the graves, he almost laughed at this stereotype. But he couldn't remember what pure laughter sounded like.  He swallowed the lump that had permanently nested in his throat. He felt it claw its way down his esophagus. 

The words engraved on the stone haunted him. Looking at the date of her death brought a new, fresh wave of heart ache. She wasn't supposed to die this early. 

He cleared his throat, knowing there was one last thing he needed to say. Something he should have said before she left that night. 

"I love you too, Hermione." 


End file.
